1.  Grampa Simpson’s real name is Abraham J. Simpson.  (What does the J stand for?  Dunno.  And I doubt if Grampa does either.) Abe_Simpson

2.  He is a veteran of both World War I and World War II.  (Don’t ask how.  This is a cartoon.)

3.  The dude has been married several times.  Wife Mona was the mother of Homer; he’s also been married to Marge Simpson’s sister Selma; a woman named Amber; and Rita LaFleur, a former singer at a local restaurant.  And he was for a time dating Marge’s mother, Jacqueline Bouvier.  (No, a different Jacqueline Bouvier.)

4.  Grampa is very fond of Matlock.  Perhaps too fond.  Perhaps.

5.  Among the organizations to which Grampa has belonged are the Stonecutters, the Flying Hellfish, the Communist Party and the Gay and Lesbian Alliance (as President).

6.  Grampa tends to go off on long, boring stories, filled with tangents, much like something other people have been known to do, especially quarterbacks, which in my day were called nickelbacks, a nickel being worth five cents, but not centavos, which kind of sound like tacos, though without all the messy filling, and speaking of fillings, a dentist once drilled 63 cavities in my mouth before realizing it wasn’t my mouth, it was my….never mind.  I forget.  Is this a popsicle?

7.  Grampa’s snappy outfit is almost always set off with a bolo tie and bedroom slippers.  (I’ve seen worse.  Often when looking in the mirror.)

8.  Grampa once wrote a letter to the President stating that “there are too many states nowadays.  Please eliminate three.  P.S. I am not a crackpot.”

9.  If one can believe Grampa’s stories (and that’s a big if), Grampa spent part of World War II portraying a Marlene Dietrich-like female cabaret singer in Nazi Germany.  (When asked by Bart if his story is true, he replies, “Well, most of it.  I did wear a dress for a period in the forties. Oh, they had designers then!”)

10.  Grampa believes that the metric system is the tool of the devil – an opinion which does seem to be shared by most of the United States.

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